Creating Space for the New Year: The Power of the 12 Holy Nights

I’m sharing one of my favorite rituals for this special time of year—the 12 Holy Nights. I've been doing this ritual since 2019, it has been a beautiful way to close the year with reflection and welcome the new with intention,

Whether you’ve heard of it or not, don't worry I will get to that in a minute, because this year I’m inviting you to join me. You can participate 'solo' in your own way or with your family or a group of likeminded people, many people do this in different places around the world.

Ok let's talk about it, what is it and how does it work.

The 12 Holy Nights have roots in both Christian and pagan traditions.

• In Christian theology, they mark the days between the birth of Christ on December 25 and the arrival of the Three Wise Men on January 6, known as Epiphany or Three Kings' Day.

• But even before Christianity, these days were celebrated in Celtic, Norse, Germanic and other ancient traditions and often called Omen Days.

Regardless of origin, they’ve always been seen as a sacred, transitional time.

Well until recently when these days have become a marketing event, haven't they? Ads and commercials everywhere with 12 days of christmas discounts and deals.

So to be clear, I am not talking about those 12 days of christmas, today, we’re diving into the original celebration of the 12 Holy Nights—far from the sales and consumerism.

While these traditions have evolved over time, what resonates with me most is how they invite us to slow down and connect with ourselves during this transitional period. It's a very intentional way of closing off the year in a good way and starting the new in a positive way.

I was first introduced to this ritual in 2019 by a good friend after I had a particularly challenging time and was mentally and emotionally at a low point. And as I said, it has become a cherished tradition for me, first because it connects me and my friend in a very special way and because it brings grounding, healing and some wonder into my life.

As you may or may not know, I am originally from Switzerland and in German, these 12 nights are called Rauhnächte, often described as 'days out of time.' meaning:

• these 12 days and nights don't belong to the old year but also not to the new year, 

• they are "no man's land", and also ... "no man's time", or the days out of time. 

Therefore these days and nights are also called 'intercalary days,' they are basically left over days and nights when society shifted from the lunar to the solar calendar. They don’t belong fully to the old year or the new year, which makes them a unique opportunity to pause and reflect.

It’s a good time to consider what we’re carrying—whether it’s physical clutter, emotional baggage, or unfinished projects—and decide what we’re ready to release and leave in the old year.  That’s the beauty of this ritual: it helps us create space for new intentions, just as clearing clutter makes space for fresh possibilities. Now here is where it gets interesting:

Each of the 12 days and nights is believed to correspond to one of the twelve months in the coming year.

So the first day corresponds with January, the second with February and so fort. That's why they're also called Omen days, because they are believed to give us a glimpse into what will come our way in the New Year. 

But here is the thing, not everyone is starting those 12 holy nights on the same day, some start it already on the Winter Solstice or Yule so Dec 20th or 21st, others start on December 24 and Christians usually start on December 25 and end on January 6th Three Kings Day. 

It's important to know: There is no 'right' way, what you want to do is create a celebration or ritual that works for you and aligns with you and what 'feels right' for you. You can let the process 'form itself' as you do this year after year. My ritual has definitely looked slightly different every year, I let my intuition guide me what I want to do, what I want to add and what I want to leave out.

And I want to say here too that if you are very busy with family and socializing during this period, don't feel you can't do this at all. You can participate in what ever way makes sense for you and your life, just set aside a few minutes, 5-10 each day, and know that you are not doing it alone, you will be joining in with a large number of people all over the planet also doing it.

Ok so now let's get to how I practice the 12 Holy Nights:

"The Entry" for me is on Dec 20th/ or21st when ever it's the Winter Solstice, that's when here in the Northern Hemisphere the light is coming back and the days get longer again.

I have a small celebration, 5-10 minutes, In the last couple of years here is what I did:

• I write some things like limiting beliefs and other mental clutter that I want to let go of on pieces of burn them in my woodstove. If you don't have a woodstove you could also do that safely in a firesafe bowl or you put the papers through the shredder or anything else that symbolically represents you letting go of them

• Then I draw an Oracle from one of my many decks I have. I then use that card as a guiding card for the year to come. I have had the card that I drew on last years Solstice as my iphone screensaver all year as a little reminder.

• Then lastly, I started to decide on a guiding word for the year to come. For 2024 it was "Connection" I am not sure yet what comes to me for 2025 we will see

Then since my friend is starting the 12 holy nights on December 25 I start then too. During these 12 holy nights let the Universe give me a glimpse of what each month of the new year will bring, remember, they used to be called Omen days. So here is what we can do:

1. Noticing the Signs: Each day and night of the 12, I pay attention to signs, thoughts, or feelings and write them in a journal. A sign can be anything that feels meaningful—like seeing 11:11 on the clock or finding a feather on a walk or having a specially vivid dream. You can decide for yourself if something is a sign or not, it could also be a special phone call, or a gift that surprises you. Have you ever noticed signs or synchronicities before in your life that made you pause and reflect? That’s the kind of awareness these 12 days and nights invite us to

2. Daily Meditation: I listen to a guided meditation specific to each day. These meditations help me connect with the energy of the moment. They are offered by a Swiss lady on Youtube and are in German. I also read a sweet little story in a book that was a gift from my friend who introduced me to this ritual, these little stories just take 2 minutes to read - it's just to intentionally slow down for a few minutes ....

3. Oracle Cards: then after meditating and reading that story, I draw a card from on of my Oracle decks, last year I actually drew 3 cards per day from 3 different decks but I think I will go back to just one card this year. Often I use an Animal Spirit Oracle card deck and this gives me 12 Spirit animals to guide me each month of the year ahead. Either way, each card represents a message, omen or clue for the corresponding month of the year.

Then I also have a closure day after January 6, where I look at all the notes I took during this time, I look at all the oracle cards I pulled and reflect on what happens and if I can find a common thread or theme through it all.

But here is the thing, at this time you might not see any connection or it all might not make sense, it doesn't matter, just take it as is, accept your notes, signs, and oracle cards if you do that as they are and enjoy that you have taken a few minutes for yourself.

You can take this as serious or not so serious as you wish, I find it's a beautiful ritual and it also helps me to slow down and to live these quieter days between the old and new year more intentionally. 

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By now you might think, OK Conny, interesting, interesting but what does that have to do with clutter, decluttering and getting organized? 

These rituals aren’t just about predicting the future—they’re also a time for reflection, they are about looking inward and letting go of the past and the things you don't need and want to hold onto going into the new year.

Just as clearing physical clutter makes space for new possibilities, releasing limiting beliefs, habits or disappointments from the old year allows us to start fresh from a clear slate.

And you know to create a ritual around it makes it just more intentional, you give it more meaning.

And in case these 12 Holy Nights don’t resonate with you, here’s another idea of a intentional 'letting go' ritual for the time inbetween the years:

Do it alone or better still gather your family and friends around you and do it as a group

• make a fire outside or in your fireplace - just be safe around fire ok. If you have no safe place for a fire then skip this part

• then grab a piece of paper and each one of you writes down the things they want to let go of, like for example limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, perfectionism, what ever it is. But be more specific, what exact limiting belief do you want to let go of.

• Then you all one by one safely destroy the paper—burn it in a fire, shred it, or tear it into small pieces. As you do, say out loud or quiet to yourself "I let you go with love"

This ritual mirrors what we aim for when we clear clutter—letting go of what no longer serves us and creating space for what truly matters. Whether it’s physical items, old habits, or emotional weights, letting go can be transformative

As I said in the beginning, this year I’m inviting you to join me for the 12 Holy Nights.

Here is how it will works:

• On December 20th or when ever you're signing up for it, you’ll receive an email explaining more about the ritual, what to prepare (don't worry not much) and what to expect.

• Then, starting December 24th, you’ll get one short email each day until January 7th, 2025. you always get the email the day before, so for the first holy night December 25 you receive the email already on Dec 24, this is because the holy night starts at midnight and also I am in the pacific time zone, you might be hours ahead of me so I want to make sure you can start your ritual in your time.

• Depending on how many people take part in this and if it's welcomed I consider creating a short zoom call at the end of it all where we could reflect on the process together, we will see.

Again, this all has nothing to do with the commercialized "12 Days of Christmas." so you will not get emails with offers of things to buy, you will get emails to be part of a few minutes of slowing down and intention to close the old year and start the new. If you sign up and you realize it's not for you, you can opt-out from these emails at any time!

To sign up go to connygraf.com/12nights

If you listen to this episode after December 25 you can still sign up and just be part of the remainder of the holy nights and/or catch up on the previous days. As I said before, there is no 'right' way, just create a celebration or ritual that works for you and aligns with you and what 'feels right' for you, and you can let the process 'form itself' and do the same next year, or something different, or not at all.

ok to sign up, go to connygraf.com/12nights and you'll receive your first email right away and then 1 email from December 24 to January 7th with suggestions on how to do a small ritual

And if you know someone who would love this episode and be part of the ritual, share it with them—it might inspire their own New Year ritual!