January 4, 2021

Kick-start 2021 In A Positive Way


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Happy New Year! Here we are in 2021, leaving 2020 behind.

I hear a lot of people saying that they are happy 2020 is over, they are so glad to see the back of it.

But things won't miraculously be different now that it's 2021, we are still dealing with the same things we did just a few days ago.

I the last two weeks I was co-hosting three live workshops and I got to talk to people about what this year 2020 has meant for them and how they are feeling about it.

For many it has been a real struggle and they are feeling anxious and overwhelmed because of the uncertainty and chaos that’s all around.
Some of their thoughts are:

  • The current political division is very distracting and upsetting
  • Feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities – and paper
  • How to stay calm when there’s so much bad news?
  • How to manage your energy and overcome fatigue?
  • Spending so much time at home bringing up relationship issues

What they all have in common is, people are focusing on what they can't control, not what they can control.

Focusing on what you can't control leaves you feeling overwhelmed, powerless and full of fear of the unknown. 

It also makes you think there is only negative things happening, nothing positive. And trust me, I have a laundry list of negative stuff from 2019 and 2020 as well, my life hasn't been the easiest lately, not just because of the pandemic.

My mentor Brooke Castillo always says

Life is 50/50 and you have to give both sides equal air time.

That's why I loved the New Years email that I got from Leanne Blaney so much. You might remember her from episode #38 Live your Bucket List now

Leanne shares with us, that bucketlisting is not just for when you are diagnosed with a bad disease and are about to die or you've got some other traumatic event happening in your life.

You can actually do that now, you can start and live your bucket list and you can have that fun and variety now. 

Anyways Leanne sent me this email about a 'good vibes only' year in review.

We all will remember 2020 for disrupting our life, if anything it woke us up and it kept us home more than we all really wanted. But Leanne asks in that email to really think about, whether it was really all that bad and encourages us to focus on the good things that happened in 2020,

She also offers us a few questions that focuses us on the positive that came out of 2020. If you do that too you will realized 2020 wasn't all that bad. Here they are: 

  •  Who’s the most interesting person you have met in 2020? 
  •  Which new place have you discovered ?
  •  What quote, movie or book has positively impacted you in 2020?
  •  Which mental, emotional or physical challenges did you overcome this year?
  •  What is one thing you can do now that you couldn’t do one year ago?

The first question "who's the most interesting person you have met in 2020?" is an interesting one for me because thanks to my podcast I have met many very interesting people. 

So for me to answer the first question from Leanne's email: Who’s the most interesting person you have met in 2020? I can just look at my podcast guests. 

Maybe the most interesting guest I had on in 2020 is Sue Maisano, you might remember her from episode 22 How to realize your dreams by following your intuition. Sue was born in a poor Chinese village and defied all odds and transformed her own life to become an American scientist,  
We talk about 
  • how she used visualization to make her dream a reality
  • How to be able to hear your inner voice for guidance
  • and how Time doesn't exists, it's only our mind that thinks time is real
Especially the part about Time blew my mind, I heard it before, we all know Einstein and his theories about time, but I still never really understood it 100%.

Interviewing Sue for my podcast and then reading her book really helped me get a better understanding. So if you have some great goals you want to achieve in 2021 and you haven't listened to episode 22 yet, go do that after reading this. Even if you have listened to it before go listen again, 

Another interesting guest on my podcast was Mimi Pettibone, after interviewing her for episode 18 on How Dreams can Help you Declutter and listening to some episodes of Mimi's podcast The Dream Detective Podcast, it really sunk in for me that I am highly sensitive and an empath.

I think that realization and me reading even more up on it, created the circumstances that Linda Binns, a fellow HSP and Empath, reached out to me in September and we started a collaboration.

You heard all about that in episode 50 How to be confident as a HSP and Empath

Those live workshops I mentioned in the beginning are the ones I hosted with Linda, we both really enjoyed sharing our experiences in these workshop. We shared how

We gain clarity by changing where we put our energy. By putting the focus on what we can control and the good that comes out of it all - we calm down our mind and emotions. This in turn leads us to feeling more confident, positive and empowered and from there we can get out of stucknes and start moving forward again. 

The participants of our live workshops walked away with greater awareness, they learned something about themselves, their energy and their clutter and how it is all connected. Just as I always say "as within, so without"

For those who want to go deeper, we have created an empowering 5-week live experience called Regain Clarity, Confidence and Control . If you read this blog post (or listen to the podcast) right when it comes out on January 4th or in that week, you can still join us for

  • Weekly live group clarity calls (for 5 weeks)
  • Daily "take control" tasks
  • Guidance, support, accountability
  • Weekly live get-your-questions-answered calls
  • Never miss a thing - recordings
  • A circle of friends that get you

2020 was a roller coaster, buckle up because 2021 might not be much different, and that's not only true for our life but also for our home. Sometimes our home is easily kept tidy and decluttered, supporting us in all we do. Sometimes not so much and things are starting to pile up again, all depending on how much attention you put on your good habits. 

A lot of people let everything go when they don't feel good, they have no sense of worthiness for themselves or their home. But that's a vicious cycle, a downward spiral because everything is connected, again if your home looks bad, you feel bad. 

Instead, start taking extra care of your home when life is difficult and hard as an act of self-love and self-care. By making sure your environment supports you instead of hinders you or sabotages you, you will see how this helps you get out of the funk and stucknes . So if you are interested in this 5 week experience with like minded people we start January 4th.  

No I don't think decluttering our home and life fixes our issues, I wish but it doesn't. But it is focusing on something that you can control, rather than something you can't control. 

And as I mentioned many times already, as within so without, our environment has a big impact on how we feel. If your home looks bad, you feel bad.

So the main message today is, focus on what you can control, not what you can't control, and make sure, just as Brooke Castillo reminds us, to give both sides equal air time. 

So if you freaked out and until now listed all the things that went wrong in 2020 or are bad now, you want to start identify some good things that happened to you or the awesome people that you've met in 2020, by answering the 5 questions I mentioned above.

If you are looking for good things, you'll find them and can give them air time.

So here you go, 3 suggestions on how to kick-start your 2021 in a positive way 

1) Do the "good vibes only"-review of 2020 and answer the 5 questions that Leanne shared with us (see above) 

2) Listen to episoe 22 of this podcast with Sue Maisano  How to realize your dreams by following your intuition this will inspire you and help you reach your goals in 2021. 

3) And if you are really serious Join the Regain Clarity, Confidence and Control Program that starts this week hosted by me and Linda Binns. the 5 -week long live experience that helps you focus on what you can control and will help you achieve your goals in 2021 and beyond

And as a bonus tip: 

if you are already clear on your goals or once you are clear on your goal you'll need accountability to reach them, and I have you covered with that, because I have the

From Chaos to Peace Accountability Program, 

a simple, email only, accountability program. Because research shows, that even with the smallest amount of accountability to someone else, we are more likely to do what we actually want to do.

It increases our commitment to ourselves and to what we want to do. And with me as your cheerleader you will have someone to celebrate with you when you reach your goals. 

Regain Clarity, Confidence and Control

a 5-week live experience with Conny Graf & Linda Binns for starts January 4th, 2021. Join us >>>here


Reading instead of Listening (Transcript) 

FYI: this text is not polished, I try to keep it as close as possible to how the guest expressed herself/himself . 

--> coming soon

If you have any questions

If you have a question about decluttering, organizing or something you heard me talk about on the podcast I'd like to invite you to a free public call "ask Conny". You can ask me a question anonymously or just listen in what others ask.

Register here, I look forward to seeing you there. 

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