The Key Insights from My Black Friday Buys for Reducing Clutter

So we survived this years Black Friday and Cyber Monday which let's be honest by now morphed into Black & Cyber month. What used to be Black Friday and Cyber Monday has now evolved—or maybe devolved—into Black & Cyber Month. A frenzy of deals and FOMO floods our screens, tempting us to buy things we didn’t even know we wanted. It's not all bad obviously but it's definitely a bit of a frenzy that's hard to escape

I myself had a Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer by the way and you might be wondering:

Isn’t having a Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer and helping people declutter their lives a big contradiction?

I don’t think so—here’s why:

• As I’ve mentioned many times, I’m not a minimalist; I see myself more as an essentialist and a pragmatist
• Also, I’m not against having things. In fact, it’s in our nature to accumulate. We need clothes, furniture, bedding, gadgets... It’s only when it gets out of hand—when the things own you instead of you owning the things—that it becomes a challenge.

Also: my Black Friday offer wasn’t about adding more clutter to your life. It was about giving you tools to let go of the mental, emotional, and physical clutter that might already be holding you back. Because let’s face it: having the right things—not the most things—is what makes life and business flow.”

My message, what I teach and coach on doesn’t mean you can’t buy things, hunt for good deals, or take advantage of sales. Especially since I myself buy things - again I am no minimalist - I do hunt for good deals but not just any deals, and yes I take advantage of sales.

My goal is with this podcast, with my message and all I talk about to help you get things flowing in your life, meaning:

• To let go of items you once loved and used but no longer need.
• To stop clinging to things that hold you back.
• To understand how much easier life becomes, not necessarily with less stuff, but with the right stuff for the phase of life and business you’re in.
• and to do that how to be more intentional with what you let into your life to begin with

It’s not just about the stuff we buy—it’s also about the why. Are we buying out of intention or because we’re swept up in the atmosphere? That’s where my work comes in, helping you focus on what truly serves you.

I want you to be intentional about what you surround yourself with. Make sure it supports your mission and goals, whether that's in your private life or your work and business —and to let go of the rest to experience a less stressful, more peaceful life.

Ok you say but how the heck are we doing this when we're bombarded on tv, on social media, in our inboxes with offer after offer after offer for stuff we didn't even know we wanted or needed but then all of a sudden feel we do?

So in this blog post I am going to be all open about what I bought during Black Friday & Cyber Monday week/month and why

but first let's explore how the different archetypes even interact with deals

but even before that,

Remember, the four elements—Fire, Earth, Air, and Water—are key to understanding your approach to making decisions, clearing clutter and getting organized. If you want to dive deeper into how each element influences your space and life, check out episodes 235-239, where I explore each element in more detail. And you can also take my quiz at connygraf.com/quiz to find out what archetype you are. 

ok back to exploring how the different archetypes even interact with deals

Fire Types: are passionate and act on instinct. Fire types love the hunt for the best deals and act quickly.

• If fire is your dominant element you might have pounced on something without overthinking, like grabbing that tech deal you've been eyeing all year or snagging that lightning deal on the fitness tracker you’ve been waiting for.

Earth Types: are Grounded and make practical decisions. Earth types prioritize long-term usefulness.

• if earth is your dominant element you might have made mostly practical choices like upgrading to that durable, high-quality cookware you’ve needed for ages.

Air Types: are the creative brainstormers and act on knowledge. Air types might research endlessly, exploring all the deals and then get swept up in possibilities.

• if air is your dominant element you might have found yourself researching every review, comparing tools, and debating features.. like spending hours comparing every feature of three different productivity apps and then not buy one...

Water Types: are xyz and act on emotion and flow. Water types might gravitate toward deals that feel nurturing or connect to their heart.

• if water is your dominant element you might have picked up something meaningful for self-care or a heartfelt gift for someone special, because it just felt right. Like splurging on a cozy blanket because it felt like a warm hug.

As a quick side note, we are all a mix of all 4 elements in one way or another, directly or indirectly and of course there are more factors to all of this anyway, but it's a nice shortcut to get to know ourselves and our actions better.

Now that we’ve explored how the elements influence our shopping styles, let me take you behind the scenes of my own Black Friday experience. As someone with Fire as my dominant element, you’d think I’d make quick, decisive purchases—but my other elements are also quite strong. You might think that's a good thing, that it balances things out but what can happen is that I end up in endless cycles of hunting/researching/evaluating and waiting for the right feeling ....

Ok so here it goes, here is what I intentionally bought  during Black Friday / Cyber Monday and also what I didn't buy either because I missed out or because I realized I don't need it.

Purchase 1: 

I was in need of a different social media scheduling tool, I had purchased Missinglettr about 2 years back on a AppSumo deal but I never really got warm with it. It seemed very clunky, it automatically pulled in my blog posts via RSS but with a lot of mistakes and the images it suggested were aweful. Long story short it turned out to be a failed purchase, I am just glad it wasn't a lot of money. I was also using two other social scheduling tools but only their free plans but I needed a better solution.

I have my eye for a long time already on SmarterQueue and so I checked if they had a good deal which they did. I quickly compared it with RecurPost that I knew was similar but without much drama I actually went with SmarterQueue and so far I couldn't be happier. I have a great onboarding experience with them and I am in the process of setting it all up.

• Looking back, my Fire side definitely kicked in because I had clarity about what I wanted and wasn’t happy with. SmarterQueue ticked all the boxes, so there wasn’t much hesitation. It’s a reminder that decisiveness comes easier when we’re clear about our needs and priorities
• Making this decision quickly and confidently felt satisfying—it’s a good reminder of how clarity fuels our fire and helps us move forward without second-guessing ourselves.

Almost Purchase 2:

One day when I was scrolling on Instagram it showed me a gadget I hadn't heard before, a nut milk maker. I drink my coffee with coconut or cashew milk or with oat milk. So I checked out this gadget but was right away put off by the high price, I didn't want to spend that kind of money. This is an interesting example as this was not something I had my eye on at all, I didn't knew before I saw this nutmilk maker that I needed a nutmilk maker.... but the FOMO had me hocked so I checked what Amazon had to offer in that department and did find cheaper options but nothing that convinced me. After all it wasn't something that was on my radar before. And as things go these days, when I opened Youtube the next time it showed me videos on how to make nutmilk... here I learned that I could make nutmilk or oat milk with my Vitamix that I already have. The next day I tried that out right away and made my own oat milk, it tasted great, takes only 5 minutes and no extra gadget and no extra money to spend yayyy Also as someone with a small kitchen and very clutter conscious, I am happy to have found yet another use for my Vitamix.

• Looking back, this is where my Earth side kicked in, this experience showcases how important it is for me to make thoughtful, long-term decisions, especially when it comes to what I bring into my home and life. While the idea of a nut milk maker seemed enticing at first, I ultimately chose not to let FOMO lead my decision-making. 
• Before investing in something new, it’s important to ask: ‘Do I really need this? Will it add value in the long run?’ In this case, my Vitamix already served the purpose, saving me money and space. As someone who values keeping things organized and decluttered, this was a win-win. I felt grounded in my decision, and it was a nice reminder that sometimes the best purchase is the one we don’t make.

Purchase 3 that almost didn't happen: 

I was also in need of a better password manager. At first, I thought I knew exactly what I needed, but when I dove into researching options, I was hit with a whirlwind of features, comparisons, and reviews. There are so many password managers out there, each claiming to be the best. I spent days reading reviews, watching review videos, and comparing every tiny detail about encryption levels, user interfaces, legal jurisdictions, and all the added extras each tool offered. I kept coming up with more questions, and every answer led to even more options—which led to more questions. What if I missed the best one? What if there’s a better solution I haven’t discovered yet? What if I don’t ask myself the most important question? I was running in circles, unable to pull the trigger on a decision. I almost missed out on the great deals the platforms were offering because I couldn’t break free from my ‘research misery. I finally forced myself to make a decision—but wow, my Air element really had a field day with this one!

• You can see here that my Air element loves gathering as much information as possible, but sometimes I get so caught up in analyzing the details especially when a decisoin feels important. 
• It’s easy for me to lose myself in what-ifs and possible alternatives, but I had to remind myself that no tool is perfect and that I could always switch to a different plan later or even try another provider if it wasn’t a good fit.
• My Air element loves to be thorough, but I also have to accept that there will never be a perfect answer, and that sometimes 'good enough for now'  is what I need. It’s a good lesson that analysis is great, but overthinking can hold me back. That I could either continue spinning in circles or trust myself and that I have enough information to make a decision and move forward.  After all, decisions are not set in stone.

Almost Purchase 4  

I also had my eye on a beautiful fleece blanket from Native Northwest. They had a great Black Friday deal going on too and I had it up on my screen. But for some reason I was humming and hawing. I know I want the blanket, it is a good price even the regular price, the sale price was even better and still.... I ended up not buying that blanket.

• Reflecting on it now, this is how my Water element lost out. It’s interesting how I hesitated, almost as if I felt I didn’t deserve that comfort, as if I was denying myself something cosy. I still need to reflect more on why I held back despite really wanting it.
• It’s a reminder that sometimes, even when we know what would bring us comfort, there’s an emotional block we don’t fully recognize. Perhaps I was telling myself that I don’t need or deserve a little indulgence right now, even though I know it would have nurtured me.
• In a way, I do regret not buying the blanket, but I also know that they’ll have sales again in the future, and I can pick one up then. For now, it’s an opportunity to tune into what’s really stopping me and listen more closely to my emotional needs in future decisions

Ok so those were my personal stories and it's funny how each purchase relates to one of the elements. Each of these decisions reflected a different side of me—my Fire clarity, my Earth practicality, my Air over-curiosity!, and my Water need for comfort but that I denied myself.

But enough about me, let's tie it back to the overarching theme, It’s very fascinating how understanding these elements help us see our buying patterns and decision making processes more clearly. And that’s the beauty of using the elements: they’re not about boxing yourself in, but about gaining insights to make more intentional decisions.

Tie-in to Organizational Archetypes

So here is how knowing your organizational personality - a good start is my quiz btw - can help guide your decision-making in general and for sure in chaotic situations like Black Friday.

• as a Fire type you need a plan to avoid impulsive purchases.
• as an Earth type you need to ensure you’re not
• as an Air type you need a deadline to stop researching and overanalyzing or you're risking to miss the deal
• as a Water type you benefit from setting boundaries to avoid buying emotionally but you also need to be aware when the other elements hijack your decision making and deny you to buy something heartfelt or cozy.

At the end of the day, it’s not about avoiding deals or buying nothing. It’s about making choices that align with your values, goals, and the life you’re creating. And if you do that, every purchase can feel like a win—not just on Black Friday, but every day of the year

I want to end this blog post by encouraging you to reflect on your purchases

What do your purchases say about your organizational archetype and how can you apply those insights for maybe Boxing Day, next Black Friday or actually year-round? 

I also love to invite you to share your Black Friday experience with me, I'd love to see how your dominant element influenced your shopping. Please leave a comment below. 

And if you don't know your dominant element yet I invite you to take the quiz at connygraf.com/quiz to discover your organizational archetype

But most of all I like this to be your reminder to be mindful of how you approach decision-making and what you buy, to not accumulate clutter, for your peace of mind, for your wallet and for the planet.