Ask what not why to gain insights - Conny Graf

Ask what not why to gain insights

When you ask what not why you're less likely to beat yourself up. You explore, you are mindful, and you learn something new about yourself.

Ask what not why - an interesting concept I came across recently that can help with decluttering but also habits that you fail to implement. 

It has been a while since I posted, and my excuse is, I have been busy...

Amongst other stuff I finished and published the ebook that I co-wrote with Vicki McLeod, you can check it out by clicking on the image to the right ---> 

We have included lots of bonuses and checklists to help you move from Chaos to Peace

But I have to admit, I clearly have not held myself accountable and I neglected and ignored a few of the things I had planned and set out to do every day or every week, including posting articles here regularly.

Has this happened to you too?

You were good for a while, keeping up with your habits - a few minutes a day.... - then life happened and you fell off the wagon?

What is the first thing you do when you realize it? 

Maybe you are like me and you start beating yourself up (we would never be as harsh with anybody else) and you start asking yourself tons of "why"-questions. 

  • Why can't I stay on track? (...stupid me)
  • Why do I get sidetracked all the time? (... something must be wrong with me) 
  • Why can't I get my sh*t together? (... I am just a lost cause)
  • Why... why.... WHY?

Usually, this doesn't get us anywhere other than even deeper into the funk. Not helpful, right? 

Then I read something interesting in a blog post the other day: 

"Why" questions trigger rumination and a feeling of powerlessness. Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the "What" instead. 
It said it was from the book Insight by Tasha Eurich which I have not read yet but...

Isn't that interesting?



Ask what not why!

So in case you fell off a habit-wagon like me, maybe with decluttering your home office, your house, your closet, or anything else, and you were beating yourself up about it, stop it. Ask "what"-questions instead.


Clutter has always something to do with your past or your future: you are either attached to or stuck in your past or scared of the future.

Asking Why-questions don't get you anywhere so try asking "what" questions instead.

  • What thoughts are coming up in your mind? Are they related to the past or to the future? 
  • What emotions are your experiencing, are they related to something from the past or something in the future?
  • What sensations do you feel in your body?

When asking and exploring with "what"-questions you're less likely to beat yourself up. You explore, you are mindful, and you learn something new about yourself, the situation or the item, and

You could even have an epiphany!


Try it out and let me know in the comments below how it goes and what insights and epiphanies you're having. 
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